Love is a Many Faceted Thing
by Beth Brantner, LPCC, Counselor at Lost and Found Ministry “Help for Those Lost in Another’s Addiction” www. lostandfoundministry.org, 218-287-2089
111 7th St. So., Moorhead, MN 56560
Open for addiction counseling, referrals, and resources, 5th Steps, CD Evaluations, educational events, support groups, and a life recovery library.
February is that time of year where we are surrounded by hearts, cupid’s arrows, flowers, and Valentine’s Day. It is the Month of Love.
There are many kinds of love: between parent and child, between friends, between romantic partners or significant others, and that for our fellow humans. In the Upper Midwest we are known as the strong silent types, and it seems we either have difficulty telling someone we love them, or we wear it out with “I love those socks, that song, that team.”
Love can be expressed in other ways. Consider the recently-married middle-aged couple. Hubby woke up early Saturday morning and took his wife’s car in to get the oil changed. “What!’’ she said, “Doesn’t he know that I can take care of my car myself?!” He, on the other hand, was trying to be nice and express his love by an act of service. This is an example of how things can go wrong when people do not understand each other’s language of love.
Think of the little boy who gives his mother a handful of dandelions, the boyfriend who fixes his girlfriend’s flat tire, the daughter who spends time with her elderly mother, the wife who tells her husband she is proud of him, or husband who holds his pregnant wife’s hand while they walk around the block.
These are all examples of the five different love languages: gifts, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation and touch. When you know the spirit in which the gifts or acts are done, it will help you “hear” the love behind them. When you are aware of the love language of the other person, expressing your love for him in that manner will be deeply felt rather than misunderstood. It also fills up the “love bank”, says Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages.” (This book is available at the Lost and Found Ministry Library.)
So, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, take time to tell people that you love them; use their love language to show them as well. The old adage, “actions speak louder than words” takes on new meaning when both actions and words give the same message. Your Valentine will really know—and feel–how much you care.